My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
