# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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