i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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