Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
