either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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