sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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