Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
