my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I AM VODKA MAN
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
