I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you win again, gameday.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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