I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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