R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
