I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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