I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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