lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
