I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
