so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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