I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
