I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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