I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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