There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
