I want to make a zoo with you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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