what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
