I'm drive I can fine osifer
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
