I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
