I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
