he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
