There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
