What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why are your pants in the freezer?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
