There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
