soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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