hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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