Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
