I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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