did you get engaged???
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
