we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I CAN MOONWALK!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
