these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
