whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
