Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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