im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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