Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
