Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My cat gives me a boner
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
