i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
