Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
