it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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