She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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