is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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