ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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