OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
