So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
