That's intense
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I enjoy the company of your penis
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