glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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