just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
