You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
