oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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