I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
